I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Jerry, you need to find god
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
