i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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