She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Holy sore nipples Batman
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
