You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
