We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
