dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
