Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
