I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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