After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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