I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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