It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
