i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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