Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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