Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
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