Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
