Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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