You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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