I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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