My friends, they love my intelligence
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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