I wish I could teleport
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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