Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
