There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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