I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what day is it and did you see me today?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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