His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
