You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
