I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
