I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Every concussion has its silver lining
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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