I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize