I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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