Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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