Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
