Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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