Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
