I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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