that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
