If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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