Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
