You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
