They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
