the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
