So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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