Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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