let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Randomize
