I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
