so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
