The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize