That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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