Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
