Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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