the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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