Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
