im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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