i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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