Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
