I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can I color on your dick again?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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