how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
