I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
