i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
