I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
