the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
