farters have to be the big spoon...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize