In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
