i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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