Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
