We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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