his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
